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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Things People Say - 182
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George Will
The phrase domestic cat is an oxymoron.
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William Ralph Inge
It is astonishing with how little wisdom mankind can be governed, when that little wisdom is its own.
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Bernard Mannes Baruch
Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
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Dan Salomon
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Monday's code.
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Leo C. Rosten
Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.
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John Milton
Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.
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Miles Kindera
'I think therefore I am' is the statement of an intellectual who underrates toothaches.
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Johann von Goethe
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.
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Konstantin Chernenko
Those who try to give us advice on matters of human rights do nothing but provoke an ironic smile among us. We will not permit anyone to interfere in our affairs.
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Jennifer Aniston
I guess we'd be living in a boring, perfect world if everybody wished everybody else well.
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