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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Things People Say - 40
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Quoted by Benjamin Franklin, Pearls of Wisdom, by Jerome Agel and Walter D. Glanze
A long life may not be good enough, but a good life is long enough.
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Albert Camus
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
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Malayan Proverb
Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.
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Marcel Proust
There is no one, no matter how wise he is, who has not in his youth said things or done things that are so unpleasant to recall in later life that he would expunge them entirely from his memory if that were possible.
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Wernher von Braun
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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Robert Jordan, The Wheel of Time
Beauty holds more worth than gold.
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George Bernard Shaw
Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.
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Rabbi H. Schachtel
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.
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Mo Udall
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
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Henry David Thoreau, "Where I Live"
It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.
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African Proverb
God conceals himself from the mind of man, but reveals himself to his heart.
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Albert Schweitzer
An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight. . . The truly wise person is colorblind.
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