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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Silly Proverbs and Quotations - 182

C. S. Lewis, A preface to "Paradise Lost"

Every poem can be considered in two ways--as what the poet has to say, and as a thing which he makes.


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John Christian Bovee

Fame - a few words upon a tombstone, and the truth of those not to be depended on.


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Dan Dierdorf

If I've got correct goals, and if I keep pursuing them the best way I know how, everything else falls into line. If I do the right thing right, I'm going to succeed.


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Peter Ustinov

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me to be the most civilised music in the world.


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Confucius

When you see a good man, try to emulate his example, and when you see a bad man, search yourself for his faults.


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Helen Keller

When one door of happiness closes, another one opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened to us.


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Jerry Coleman

Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.


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Christopher Reeve

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean.


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Frederick W. Robertson

It is not the situation that makes the man, but the man who makes the situation.


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Karl Rove, March 19, 2001

As people do better, they start voting like Republicans- unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing.


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Seneca

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god.


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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be as beneficent as the sun or the sea, but if your rights as a rational being are trenched on, die on the first inch of your territory.



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