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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 131

Confucius, The Confucian Analects

Virtue is more to man than either water or fire. I have seen men die from treading on water and fire, but I have never seen a man die from treading the course of virtue.


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Sam Malone, Cheers

Not many people know this ... but I happen to be famous.


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Thomas Jefferson, letter to Elbridge Gerry, 1799

I am for freedom of religion, & against all maneuvres to bring about a legal ascendancy of one sect over another.


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Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Coincidences are spiritual puns.


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Charles Kingsley

We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.


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Charles Monroe Schultz

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.


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John F. Kennedy, Amherst College, Oct 26, 1963 - Source JFK Library, Boston, Mass.

The men who create power make an indispensable contribution to the Nation’s greatness, but the men who question power make a contribution just as indispensable, especially when that questioning is disinterested, for they determine whether we use power or power uses us.


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Dorothy L. Sayers

I always have a quotation for everything, it saves original thinking.


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Daniel J. Boorstin

A best seller was a book which somehow sold well simply because it was selling well.


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Roosevelt, Eleanor

You must do the things you think you cannot do.


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Immanuel Hermass von Fichte

If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it.


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William Shakespeare

This above all TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.



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