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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Things People Say - 180
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Charles Robert Darwin
A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
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Robert Frost
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
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Erastus Flavel Beadle
Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.
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Moshe Dayan
If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.
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Lou Vickery
Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is for a partner it doesn't turn to those who believe that they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever searching and striving to become the best they possibly can. If we seek the average level, we cannot hope to achieve a higher level of success. Our only hope is to avoid being a failure.
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Allen Ginsberg
Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
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Publilius Syrus
The judge is condemned when the criminal is absolved.
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Janina Atkins
I love America because America trusts me. When I go into a shop to buy a pair of shoes I am not asked to produce my Identity Card. I love it because my mail is not censored. My phone is not tapped. My conversation with friends is not reported to the secret police.
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Harry S Truman
I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
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Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Benito Mussolini
The history of saints is mainly the history of insane people.
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Søren Kierkegaard
If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of potential -- for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.
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