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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 141
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Henry David Thoreau
However mean your life is, meet it and live it do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are the richest.
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Herbert Hoover
Words without actions are the assassins of idealism.
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Dean Acheson
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
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Donald Rumsfeld, http://www.dod.gov/transcripts/2004/tr20041208-secdef1761.html
You go to war with the Army you have. They’re not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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Reubin Askew
We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans.
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Francis J. Braceland
We can be sure that the greatest hope for maintaining equilibrium in the face of any situation rests within ourselves.
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John Ruskin
This is the true nature of home -- it is the place of Peace; the shelter, not only from injury, but from all terror, doubt and division.
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Aristotle Onassis
The secret to success is to know something nobody else knows.
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Sophocles
How dreadful knowledge of the truth can be When there's no help in truth
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Coming to America
Clarence Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.
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Elbert Hubbard
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.
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