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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous Sayings - 120
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Miyamoto Musashi
Do not let the body be dragged along by mind nor the mind be dragged along by the body
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Buddha
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
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Sophocles
Truly, to tell lies is not honorable but when the truth entails tremendous ruin, To speak dishonorably is pardonable.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be used as a kind of stainer, where you force pancakes through the strings to see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
It is the province of knowledge to speak And it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
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Blaise Pascal
Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is, but let us consider the two possibilities. If you gain, you gain all if you lose you lose nothing. Hesitate not, then, to wager that He is.
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George D. Prentice
There are many men whose tongues might govern multitudes if they could govern their tongues.
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Shimon Peres
It is not only the psychology of the people that makes them so exacting-their geographical situation has been equally problematic.
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Henry Miller
When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.
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Donald J. Trump
As long as your going to be thinking anyway, think big.
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Blaise Pascal
If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world.
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Plato
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
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