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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Famous People Sayings - 184

English Proverb

Never fall out with your bread and butter.


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Henri Frdric Amiel

A lively, disinterested, persistent looking for truth is extraordinarily rare. Action and faith enslave thought, both of them in order not to be troubled or inconvenienced by reflection, criticism or doubt.


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Sir Arthur Eddington

The mathematics is not there till we put it there.


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Colin Powell

Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.


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George Stanley McGovern

You know, sometimes, when they say you're ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing.


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Alfred Lord Tennyson

My strength is as the strength of ten, Because my heart is pure.


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Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you their full attention. If this might be the last time they saw you, they really saw you… People listened instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. And when they spoke, they weren’t telling you a story. When the two of you talked, you were building something, and afterward you were both different than before.


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Saint Augustine

Let no one flatter himself of himself he is Satan. Let man take sin, which is his own, and leave righteousness with God.


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Phyllis Diller

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.


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George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning anf a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.


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John Lennon

All we are saying is give peace a chance.


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Saint Teresa of Avila

I do not fear Satan half so much as I fear those who fear him.



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