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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Famous Sayings - 116

Thomas Jefferson

No man will ever bring out of the Presidency the reputation which carries him into it...To myself, personally, it brings nothing but increasing drudgery and daily loss of friends.


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Naked Gun From the Files of Police Squad

Frank Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.


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Herbert Spencer

Opinion is ultimately determined by the feelings, and not by the intellect.


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Laurence Hope

For this is Wisdom to love, to live To take what fate, or the Gods may give. To ask no question, to make no prayer, To kiss the lips and caress the hair, Speed passion's ebb as you greet its flow To have, - to hold - and - in time, - let go


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William Wallace, Braveheart

Everyone dies. Not everyone really lives.


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Ocean\'s Eleven

Reuben Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it.


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Oprah Winfrey

I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.


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Michael Bakunin, God and State

A divine falsehood is more powerful than any human truth.


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Friedrich Nietzsche

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.


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Karen Lamb

A year from now you may wish you had started today.


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Harold R. McAlindon

The quality of an organization can never exceed the quality of the minds that make it up.


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Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ, 1420

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.



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