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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Famous Sayings - 35
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J. R. R. Tolkien, Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The board is set, the pieces are moving. We come to it at last... The great battle of our time.
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Stephen Hawking
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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H.L. Mencken
Platitude an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
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Francis Bacon
It is impossible to love and to be wise.
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Ogden Nash
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
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Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
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Jean Iris Murdoch
A good man often appears gauche simply because he does not take advantage of the myriad mean little chances of making himself look stylish. Preferring truth to form, he is not constantly at work upon the faade of his appearance.
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Vincent Van Gogh
How can I be useful, of what service can I be There is something inside me, what can it be
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Jonathan Swift
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping.
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W. S. Gilbert
Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
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Homer, The Iliad
Whoever obeys the gods, to him they particularly listen.
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