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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Famous People Sayings - 44
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William James
How to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness is in fact for most men at all times the secret motive of all they do, and of all they are willing to endure.
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Henry Louis Mencken
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
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Unknown
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.
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O. Henry
It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are.
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Emma Lazarus
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. - Engrved on Statue of Liberty
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Bill Keane
Yesterday's the past and tomorrow's the future. Today is a gift - which is why they call it the present.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap
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Alexander Woollcott
All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
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Harry Emerson Fosdick
God is not a cosmic bellboy for whom we can press a button to get things done.
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Jean Kerr
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
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Nikolai Gogol, 1836
It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry.
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Richard Whately
He that is not open to conviction, is not qualified for discussion.
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