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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous Sayings - 100
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Walter Bagehot
The greatest mistake is trying to be more agreeable than you can be.
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Tom Lehrer
The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.
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Walt Disney
If you can dream it, you can do it.
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Jeff Melvoin
I've been over what I'm supposed to say and I've got to tell you, it's pretty persuasive stuff, but is it the whole truth It's a slice of truth, a morsel, a fraction. It's a piece of the pie, certainly not the whole enchilada, and now that I've been thinking about it, I don't think I could tell the whole truth about anything. That's a pretty heavy burden, because we all just view the world through this little piece of coke bottle. Is there such a thing as objective truth I wonder.
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Casey Stengel
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
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Saint Jerome
An unstable pilot steers a leaking ship, and the blind is leading the blind straight to the pit. The ruler is like the ruled.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together.
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt
It is fun to be in the same decade with you.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Everything is the product of one universal creative effort. There is nothing dead in Nature. Everything is organic and living, and therefore the whole world appears to be a living organism.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
I took a look around the office. ... I walked out and closed the door behind me. I knew that I would not be back there again. (On leaving the Executive Office Building)
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J. Robert Oppenheimer, Quoting "The Bhagavad Gita",Alamogordo, New Mexico, 1945
If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One... I am become Death, the Shatterer of Worlds.
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Benjamin Disraeli
It is knowledge that influences and equalizes the social condition of man that gives to all, however different their political position, passions which are in common, and enjoyments which are universal.
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