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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Things People Say - 194
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Harry S Truman
Most of the problems a President has to face have their roots in the past.
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Terence, Eunuchus
I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.
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George Carlin
Life.....is a series of dogs.
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Orison Swett Marden
Whatever our creed, we feel that no good deed can by any possibility go unrewarded, no evil deed unpunished.
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George Jellinek
The idea of legally establishing inalienable, inherent and sacred rights of the individual is not of political but religious origin.
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Damon Runyon
It may not be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong - but that is the way to bet.
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A torn jacket is soon mended but hard words bruise the heart of a child.
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Thomas Huxley
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not it is the first lesson that ought to be learned and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
The years teach much which the days never knew.
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Virginia Woolf
Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others.
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H. L. Mencken
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
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Walter V. Kaulfers, The Forbes Book of Business Quotations
In human relations a little language goes farther than a little of almost anything else. Whereas one language now often makes a wall, two can make a gate.
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