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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Famous People Sayings - 131
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William T. Cummings
There are no athiests in foxholes.
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Martin Luther King, Jr.
Hatred paralyzes life love releases it. Hatred confuses life love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life love illumines it.
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Babylonian Talmud, tractate Gittin
Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it.
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Richard Bach
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.
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William Shakespeare, "Macbeth", Act 4 scene 1
Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
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William Shakespeare, Romeo, in Romeo and Juliet, act 1, sc. 1.
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes, Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers’ tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
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Jerry Coleman
Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.
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Jamie Lee Curtis
We look at adoption as a very sacred exchange. It was not done lightly on either side. I would dedicate my life to this child.
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Hans Konig
For all the gold and silver stolen and shipped to Spain did not make the Spanish people richer. It gave their kings an edge in the balance of power for a time, a chance to hire more mercenary soldiers for their wars. They ended up losing those wars anyway, and all that was left was a deadly inflation, a starving population, the rich richer, the poor poorer, and a ruined peasant class.
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E.W. Dijkstra
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be reguarded as a criminal offense.
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South
A good inclination is but the first rude draught of virtue, but the finishing strokes are from the will, which, if well disposed, will by degrees perfect it, as if all disposed will quickly deface it.
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