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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Famous Sayings - 96
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Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
The chief weapon of sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was too late, how heartless and greedy they were.
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Paul Engle
Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.
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Edward De Bono
Sometimes the situation is only a problem because it is looked at in a certain way. Looked at in another way, the right course of action may be so obvious that the problem no longer exists.
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Joan Brannon
He who walks in another’s tracks leaves no footprints.
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So I Married an Axe Murderer
Harriet Do you actually like haggis Charlie No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch of a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.
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Henry Spencer
Programming graphics in X is like finding the square root of PI using Roman numerals.
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Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Thomas Szasz
Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.
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Clive Barnes
Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
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Unknown
Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
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Jacques Deval, Afin de vivre bel et bien
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
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