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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Things People Say - 190
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Oscar Wilde
Nothing is so aggravating as calmness.
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Jonathan Swift
Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly.
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Aldous Huxley
The only completely consistent people are the dead.
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Thomas Mann
Opinions cannot survive if one has no chance to fight for them.
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Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897)
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
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Edna Buchanan
True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.
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Laertius Diogenes
When Thales was asked what was difficult, he said, 'To know one's self.' And what was easy, 'To advise another.'
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Albert Einstein
God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
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Leonardo da Vinci
Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
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Mark Twain
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
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George Herbert Walker Bush
My grandkids say, 'Reality Bites.' O.K., but it also challenges and rewards...I believe our best days are yet to come.
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Plato
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.
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