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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings - 159
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Thomas Fuller
If it were not for hope, the heart would break.
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Bible
The source of the famous Golden Rule. Many famous lines were variations on this theme.
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
We take care of our health, we lay up money, we make our roof tight and our clothing sufficient, but who provides wisely that he shall not be wanting the best property of all -- friends?
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Philip Crosby, Reflections on Quality
In a true zero-defects approach, there are no unimportant items.
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Col. Jack Ripper, commander of Burpleson AFB to Group Capt. Mandrake (Peter Sellers) in Dr. Strangelove
(Clemenceau) once said that war is too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he may have been right...but now, war is too important to be left to the politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought...And I can no longer, sit around and allow Communist subversion, Communist corruption, and Communist infiltration of our precious bodily fluids.
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Thomas Huxley
The great tragedy of science -- the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.
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Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Hostile Hospital
Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often the should appear.
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Lord Alfred Tennyson
His honour rooted in dishonour stood, And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.
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Doug Larson
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
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Cicero
In so far as the mind is stronger than the body, so are the ills contracted by the mind more severe than those contracted by the body.
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Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
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