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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Famous Sayings - 23
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Ulysses S. Grant, Personal Memoirs of U.S. Grant, Chapter 46
It is men who wait to be selected, and not those who seek, from whom we may expect the most efficient service.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll change their tune after a little torture.
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Italian Proverb
Bed is the poor man's opera.
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Dominique Bouhours
The possibilities for mobilizing the experience, imaginations, and intelligence of workers, both employed and unemployed, are limitless.
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Sir Winston Churchill
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
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Joseph Fischer
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.
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Bill Lee
You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church.
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Ben Stein
Nothing happens by itself... it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.
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George Sheehan
Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.
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William Shakespeare
I did never know so full a voice issue from so empty a heart but the saying is true 'The empty vessel makes the greatest sound'.
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George Steiner
It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past.
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Ellen Goodman
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
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