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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous People Sayings - 70
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Edgar A. Shoaff
Immortality -- a fate worse than death.
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James Thomson
Absence, with all its pains, is, by this charming moment, wiped away.
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Geoffrey F. Albert
Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.
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Billy Wilder
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
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Casey Stengel
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
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Sir Isaac Newton, Epitaph
I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean lay all undiscovered before me.
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Terry Josephson
Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities.
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Edward P. Tryon
In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
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Barbra Streisand
The moral immune system of this country has been weakened and attacked, and the AIDS virus is the perfect metaphor for it. The malignant neglect of the last twelve years has led to breakdown of our country's immune system, environmentally, culturally, politically, spiritually and physically.
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Friedrich Nietzsche
He who despises himself esteems himself as a self-despiser.
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Evan Davis
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
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Seneca
Dangerous is wrath concealed. Hatred proclaimed doth lose its chance of wreaking vengeance.
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