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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Famous Sayings - 177
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Abraham Lincoln
I don't know who my grandfather was I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
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Jewish Proverb
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
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Thomas Fuller
If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.
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Cicero
Men decide far more problems by hate, love, lust, rage, sorrow, joy, hope, fear, illusion, or some other inward emotion, than by reality, authority, any legal standard, judicial precedent, or statute.
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Paul Brown
When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less.
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Eugene S. Wilson
Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.
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D. J. Hicks
Paranoids are people, too they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
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William Shakespeare
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, Or close the wall up with our English dead In peace there's nothing so becomes a man As modest stillness and humility But when the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of the tiger Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.
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Emiliano Zapata
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees
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Yogi Berra, quoted in Sports Illustrated
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
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Charles Eddie Wiseman
We're going to raise a lost generation of children unless they are properly disciplined and properly spanked.
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Jean-Jacques Rousseau
The training of children is a profession, where we must know how to waste time in order to save it
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