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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Proverbs and Quotations - 126
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Kitty Kelley
Once I decide to do something, I can't have people telling me I can't. If there's a roadblock, you jump over it, walk around it, crawl under it.
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Michelangelo, Poem Fragment
You only give me what you have left over, and you want things from me that I do not have.
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Prophet Mohammed
To overcome evil with good is good, to resist evil by evil is evil.
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Malayan Proverb
Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground.
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Walter Bagehot
The whole history of civilization is strewn with creeds and institutions which were invaluable at first, and deadly afterwards.
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Samuel Hoffenstein
When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you're near.
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Nathaniel Hawthorne
No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.
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Tommy Boy
Tommy Richard, who's your favorite little rascal Alfalfa or is it Spanky
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Rowland Evans, Jr.
The Kennedy organization doesn't run, it purrs.
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Bertrand Russell
What the world needs is not dogma but an attitude of scientific inquiry combined with a belief that the torture of millions is not desirable, whether inflicted by Stalin or by a Deity imagined in the likeness of the believer.
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William S. Burroughs
Anything that can be done chemically can be done by other means.
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Jacques Maritain
Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.
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