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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 181
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Emily Dickinson
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
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H. G. Wells
Non-violence is the policy of the vegetable kingdom
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Thomas Carlyle
When words leave off, music begins.
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Buddy Hackett
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, You would never see a bad show.
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Aesop
Plodding wins the race.
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Dorothy Parker
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
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Sean Stewart, Perfect Circle, 2004
Sometimes a good exit is all you can ask for.
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Aristophanes
Under every stone lurks a politician.
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Peter Drucker
There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
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William James
Human beings are born into this little span of life of which the best thing is its friendship and intimacies, and soon their places will know them no more, and yet they leave their friendships and intimacies with no cultivation, to grow as they will by the roadside, expecting them to keep by force of inertia.
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William Ernest Hocking
We cannot swing up on a rope that is attached only to our own belt.
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Abraham Crowley
A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain.
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