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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings - 89
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Doug McLeod
I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
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Sir Thomas More, Utopia, Book 1
For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.
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William Gladstone
Justice delayed is justice denied.
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Robert Louis Stephenson
The man is a success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of children who has filled his niche and accomplished his task who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul who never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.
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Erich Fromm
Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one's own self.
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Wilfred A. Peterson
The secret of greatness is simple do better work than any other man in your field - and keep on doing it.
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Unknown
Every big problem was at one time a wee disturbance.
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Latvian Proverb
A smiling face is half the meal.
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Anthony Robbins
Job dissatisfaction is the number one factor in whether you survive your first heart attack.
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Orson Welles
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
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Johann von Goethe
A man who does not know foreign language is ignorant of his own.
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Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
Babylon violated diminishes Alexander; Rome enslaved diminishes Caesar; massacred Jerusalem diminishes Titus. Tyranny follows the tyrant. Woe to the man who leaves behind a shadow that bears his form.
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