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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Famous Sayings - 106

Zalman Stern, former ITC hacker diety

Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax.


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Art Sims

This is the doctrine of justification. It is the wonderful fact that God imputes His righteousness to us and makes us immune to the condemnation of sin. Being justified, no sin can ever be imputed against us.


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Saint Benedict

Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.


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Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Exclusively of the abstract sciences, the largest and worthiest portion of our knowledge consists of aphorisms and the greatest and best of men is but an aphorism.


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Louis Pasteur

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.


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Johann Kaspar Lavater

He who seldom speaks, and with one calm well-timed word can strike dumb the loquacious, is a genius or a hero.


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Karl Marx

The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them.


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Louis Pasteur

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.


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Latin Proverb

By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn.


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John Milton

Accuse not nature, she hath done her partDo thou but thine, and be not diffidentOf wisdom, she deserts thee not, if thouDismiss not her, when most thou needest her nigh,By attributing overmuch to thingsLess excellent, as thou thyself perceivest.


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William Inge

The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being happy except that they are so.


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Robert W. Sarnoff

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.



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