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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Famous People Sayings - 43
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Donald Foster
No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.
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Patrick Henry
Are we at last brought to such a humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our own defence Where is the difference between having our arms in our own possession and under our own direction, and having them under the management of Congress If our defence be therealobject of having those arms, in whose hands can they be trusted with more propriety, or equal safety to us, as in our own hands
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Elbert Hubbard
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
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Epicurus
Pleasure is the beginning and the end of living happily.
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Beckett
Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
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J. D. Salinger
I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
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Francis Bacon
Many secrets of art and nature are thought by the unlearned to be magical.
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James Beard
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
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Walter Scott
If you have no friends to share or rejoice in your success in life - if you cannot look back to those whom you owe gratitude, or forward to those to whom you ought to afford protection, still it is no less incumbent on you to move steadily in the path of duty; for your active excretions are due not only to society; but in humble gratitude to the Being who made you a member of it, with powers to save yourself and others.
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Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
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J. R. R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
We are never late. We arrive precisely when we mean to.
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Unknown
Most everything in my brain, someone else helped put there.
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