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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Famous Sayings - 36
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F. M. Young
It isn't the incompetent who destroys an organization. The incompetent never gets in a position to destroy it. It is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up.
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Prophet Mohammed, Muslim
A Muslim who meets with others and shares their burdens is better than one who lives a life of seclusion and contemplation.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
It seemed to me that, somehow, the blue jay was trying to communicate with me. I would see him fly into the house across the way, pick up the telephone, and dial. My phone would ring, and it would be him, but it was just this squawking and cheeping. 'What What' I would yell back, but he never did speak English.
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Adair Lara
Having something to say is overrated.
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William Shakespeare
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them The good is oft interred with their bones.
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Lao-Tzu
The softest things in the world to overcome the hardest things in the world.
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Buddha
If a man's mind becomes pure, his surroundings will also become pure.
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Herbert Fenstermeim
The question is not whether you're frightened or not, but whether you or the fear is in control. If you say, 'I won't be frightened,' and then you experience fear, most likely you'll succumb to it, because you're paying attention to it. The correct thing to tell yourself is, 'If I do get frightened, I will stay in command.'
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think it's that big of a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks that much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life
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Guy Gavriel Kay
We are the total of our longings.
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Amelia Earhart
Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things Knows not the livid loneliness of fear.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
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