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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous Sayings - 190
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Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
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Maurice Barrs
The politician is an acrobat he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.
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Jim Rohn
The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.
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Francis Eliza Hodgson Burnett
At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope that it can be done, then they see that it can be done--then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.
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W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.
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Leonard Bernstein
Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time... The wait is simply too long.
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Marie Curie
You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful.
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Homer Simpson
Trying is the first step towards failure.
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Michael Winner, British film director
A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
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Jesse Jackson
Never look down on anybody unless you helping him up.
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Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobience
The only obligation which I have a right to assume, is to do at any time what I think right.
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Arthur Miller, The Crucible, act II
Cleave to no faith when faith brings blood.
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