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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Famous Sayings - 103

Naked Gun From the Files of Police Squad

Frank I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.


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Michael Brian Schiffer

Anthropology is the only discipline that can access evidence about the entire human experience on this planet.


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Timothy Leary

There are three side effects of acid. Enchanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third.


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Douglas Noel Adams

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.


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Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.


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R. D. Laing

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.


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A. P. Gouthey

If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy.


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Charles Schwab

The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life.


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Walt Whitman, Song of Myself, 1855

I celebrate myself, and sing myself.


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Edwin Holt Hughes

God is the God of truth and every spiritual quality must live with that holy attribute.


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Jules Renard

I am not sincere, not even when I say I am not.


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Hair

The draft is white people sending black people to fight yellow people to protect the country they stole from the red people.



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