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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Famous Sayings - 103
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Naked Gun From the Files of Police Squad
Frank I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.
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Michael Brian Schiffer
Anthropology is the only discipline that can access evidence about the entire human experience on this planet.
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Timothy Leary
There are three side effects of acid. Enchanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third.
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Douglas Noel Adams
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
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Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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R. D. Laing
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.
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A. P. Gouthey
If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy.
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Charles Schwab
The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life.
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Walt Whitman, Song of Myself, 1855
I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
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Edwin Holt Hughes
God is the God of truth and every spiritual quality must live with that holy attribute.
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Jules Renard
I am not sincere, not even when I say I am not.
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Hair
The draft is white people sending black people to fight yellow people to protect the country they stole from the red people.
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