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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Proverbs and Quotations - 75
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Kahlil Gibran
I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
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Thorstein Veblen
No one travelling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive.
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US Declaration of Independence
We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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Adrienne E. Gusoff
Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.
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Polybius, History
Those who know how to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories.
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William Shakespeare
I must be cruel only to be kind; Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind.
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Oscar Wilde
Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.
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Uffe Ellemann-Jensen, President, ELDR 1995-2000, Foreign Minister 1982-1993, Nordic Embassies in Berlin 23 September 2003
I cherish the Franco-German cooperation as one of the most important developments in post-war Europe. But I will not accept is as being so sacrosanct that the rest of us shall simply adapt to what is decided between Paris and Berlin.
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Oscar Wilde
Arguments are to be avoided they are always vulgar and often convincing.
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Alexander Graham Bell
Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfilment of animal desires.
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Carl Jung
Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
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W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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