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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Famous People Sayings - 34
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Phillips Brooks
Life comes before literature, as the material always comes before the work. The hills are full of marble before the world blooms with statues.
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George Orwell
On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
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George Bernard Shaw
I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.
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Jean Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
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H. L. Mencken
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
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Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
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Charles Grodin
It's hard for me to answer a question from someone who really doesn't care about the answer.
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Dr. Robert Schuller
If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.
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Katharine Whitehorn
Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?
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Japanese Proverb
Gossip about a person and his shadow will appear.
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Sigmund Freud
We are certainly getting ahead if I am Moses, then you are Joshua and will take possession of the promised land of psychiatry, which I shall only be able to glimpse from afar.
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Thomas John Watson, Sr.
All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work.
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