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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 130
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Harry S Truman
The only new thing is history we don't know.
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La Rochefoucauld
We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears.
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Heraclitus of Ephesus
Upon those who step into the same rivers different and ever different waters flow down.
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Bible, James 2:19 (New International Version)
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder.
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Ayn Rand
Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.
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James Albert Michener
An age is called Dark, not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it.
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Ru Paul
You're born naked, the rest is drag.
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Leon Trotsky, Diary in Exile (1959)
Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
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Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.
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H. L. Mencken
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.
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William Shakespeare
But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
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Heinrich Heine
Be entirely tolerant or not at all; follow the good path or the evil one. To stand at the crossroads requires more strength than you possess.
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