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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Famous People Sayings - 45
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Hunter S. Thompson
A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums.
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Aldous Huxley
The thin and precarious crust of decency is all that separates any civilization, however impressive, from the hell of anarchy or systematic tyranny which lie in wait beneath the surface.
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John Wooden
It is what you learn after you know it all that counts.
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Socrates
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
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Marita Bonner
She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside. She talked as if she were already in the shell. In their very shell.
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Stella Adler
Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.
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Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Bible
The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.
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Chinese Proverb
Make happy those who are near, and those who are far will come.
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William James
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
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Nina Berberova, O Magazine, September 2003
I had learnt to seek intensity…more of life, a concentrated sense of life.
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