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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 29
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Cecil Andrus
The National Rifle Association are the gun nuts of the world.
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George Bernard Shaw
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
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Confucius
When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
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Cicero
By force of arms.
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Albert Einstein
We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.
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Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.
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Alfred Lord Tennyson
I am a part of all that I have met.
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Aldous Huxley
That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.
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Benjamin Franklin
A democracy is two wolves and a small lamb voting on what to have for dinner. Freedom under a constitutional republic is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
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Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
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Ronnie Lott
If you can believe it, the mind can achieve it.
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Greek Proverb
It is easier to talk than to hold one's tongue.
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