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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Proverbs and Quotations - 78
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Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis
For a while I thought history was something bitter old men wrote. But Jack loved history so ... for Jack history was full of heroes.
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Louis Pasteur, 1822-1895
Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.
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E. M. Cioran
Does our ferocity not derive from the fact that our instincts are all too interested in other people If we attended more to ourselves and became the center, the object of our murderous inclinations, the sum of our intolerances would diminish.
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George Washington
Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty.
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Dan Quayle
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
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Confucius
Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
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Henry Miller
When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
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Seneca
Wisdom does not show itself so much in precept as in life - in firmness of mind and a mastery of appetite. It teaches us to do as well as to talk; and to make our words and actions all of a color.
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Ralph Hodgson, on ESP
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
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Richard Brinsley Sheridan
When you meet your antagonist, do everything in a mild and agreeable manner. Let your courage be as keen, but at the same time as polished, as your sword.
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Hans Hofmann
The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.
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Zig Ziglar
Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.
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