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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Famous People Sayings - 157
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Tim Robbins
Every man dies. Not every man lives.
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The Book of the Dead, The Address to the Gods, 1700-1000 B.C.
Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, without guilt, without evil, without a witness against me, without one whom I have wronged. I am one pure of mouth, pure of hands.
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Annie Dillard
A schedule defends from chaos and whim.
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Will Rogers
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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C. Chesterfield
Men will not believe because they will not broaden their minds
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J.B. Priestley
A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing him and trying to improve him.
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Democritus
Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth; the former course is silly, the latter a mark of prudence.
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Thomas Jefferson
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.
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George Bernard Shaw
An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.
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Dave Meurer
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
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Smart
Go to the ant, thou sluggard, learn to live, and by her busy ways, reform thine own.
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Thomas Huxley
Only one absolute certainty is possible to man, namely that at any given moment the feeling which he has exists.
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