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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Things People Say - 75
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John Berry, Flight of White Crows
The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.
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Oscar Wilde
Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.
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Buddha
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
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James Barrie
Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.
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Bertolt Brecht
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone
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Roosevelt, Eleanor
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
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Virgil, Aeneid
Fortune favors the brave.
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Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
All humanity is one undivided and indivisible family, and each one of us is responsible for the misdeeds of all the others. I cannot detach myself from the wickedest soul.
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Douglas Noel Adams
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.
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Christopher Morley
A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.
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Henry David Thoreau
The man who goes alone can start today but he who travels with another must wait till the other is ready, and it may be along time before they get off.
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Joseph Addison
Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.
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