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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Famous Sayings - 65
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Pia Melody
You can choose your behavior, the world chooses your consequences.
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Sir Thomas More, As he drew his beard aside upon placing his head on the block, From Bacon
This hath not offended the king.
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French Proverb
Everyone thinks his own burden heavy.
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Mickey Rooney
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
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Thomas Huxley
Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club.
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J. W. Alexander
There are pauses amidst study, and even pauses of seeming idleness, in which a process goes on which may be likened to the digestion of food. In those seasons of repose, the powers are gathering their strength for new efforts; as land which lies fallow recovers itself for tillage.
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Jennifer Tyler
My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me.
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Oprah Winfrey
You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another.
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George F. Burns
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Laurie E. Colwin
That family glaze of common references, jokes, events, calamities-that sense of a family being like a kitchen midden layer upon layer of the things daily life is made of. The edifice that lovers build is by comparison delicate and one-dimensional.
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Marcus Tullius Cicero
For if that last day does not occasion an entire extinction, but a change of abode only, what can be more desirable And if it, on the other hand, destroys and absolutely puts an end to us, what can be preferable to having a deep sleep fall on us in the midst of the fatigues of life and, being thus overtaken, to sleep to eternity
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Marquise du Deffand
The distance is nothing it's only the first step that is difficult.
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