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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 139
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Harriet
Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
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John Kenneth Galbraith
Liberalism is, I think, resurgent. One reason is that more and more people are so painfully aware of the alternative.
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George Santayana
To be an American is of itself almost a moral condition, an education, and a career.
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Unknown
Not all those who wonder are lost.
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Sue Patton Thoele
Abundance is, in large part, an attitude.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
If there are occasions when my grape turned into a raisin and my joy bell lost its resonance, please forgive me. Charge it to my head and not to my heart.
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Made
Ricky Max, ah, one more thing, ah ... who am I dropping this off to Who gets their hands on this Max That's your per diem. Ricky Yeah, that's my per diem, and who do I give it to Who do I drop it off to
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John F. Kennedy, "A Thousand Days," by Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr [1965]
If I am to die, this is the week for it. -- John F. Kennedy (to aide John McClone in response to a CIA report about rumours of an assassination plot), June 1962.
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J. Russel Lynes
If you can't ignore an insult, top it if you can't top it, laugh it off and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.
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Jeseph Joubert
Let us have justice, and then we shall have enough liberty
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Richard Milhous Nixon
I want you to stonewall it. (To staff on news of break-in at Watergate)
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Laurens Van der Post, The Lost World of the Kalahari (1958)
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.
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