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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Things People Say - 30
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Oscar Wilde
Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex.
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Jean Paul Richter
Only actions give life strength only moderation gives it a charm.
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Author Unknown
Some people lose their health getting wealth and then lose their wealth gaining health.
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John Erksine
In simplest terms, a leader is one who knows where he wants to go, and gets up, and goes.
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Publilius Syrus
If you refuse where you have always granted you invite to theft.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Insist on yourself never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession... Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.
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Isaac Asimov, Laws of Robotics from I. Robot, 1950
One, a robot may not injure a human being, or through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm; Two, a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law; Three, a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
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Jean Giraudoux
The flower is the poetry of reproduction. It is an example of the eternal seductiveness of life.
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Jose Ortega y Gasset
We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient characteristic of life is its coerciveness it is always urgent, 'here and now,' without any possible postponement. Life is fired at us point-blank.
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Hammurabi
If a man destroys the eye of another man, they shall destroy his eye.
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Marabel Morgan, The Electric Woman
Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality; the other, a matter of time.
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J. Krishnamutri
When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely-- the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears- when you give your whole attention to it.
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