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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous People Sayings - 190
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Margaret Mead
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
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Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre, page 62
I hold a creed, which no one ever taught me, and which I seldon mention, but in which I delight, and to which I cling, for it extends hope to all; it makes eternity a rest - a mighty home - not a terror and an abyss. With this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime, I can so sincerly forgive the first while I abhor the last; with this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degredation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice bever crushes me too low; I live in calm, looking to the end.
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Albert Einstein, (attributed)
The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
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Saint Jerome
A fat paunch never breeds fine thoughts.
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William Shakespeare
Simply the thing that I am shall make me live.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that.
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Anne Morrow Lindbergh
The intellectual is constantly betrayed by his vanity. Godlike he blandly assumes that he can express everything in words whereas the things one loves, lives, and dies for are not, in the last analysis completely expressible in words.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
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Euripides
The good and the wise lead quiet lives.
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Herb Caen
Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.
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William Hale White
Blessed are they who heal you of self-despisings. Of all services which can be done to man, I know of none more precious.
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Joespeh Goebbels
If you tell a lie -- tell a big one.
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