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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous People Sayings - 99
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Benjamin Franklin
We must indeed all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall hang separately.
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Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
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Harriet Woods
You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims
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Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.
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Auguste Rodin
The artist must create a spark before he can make a fire and before art is born, the artist must be ready to be consumed by the fire of his own creation.
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Henry Ward Beecher
It is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich.
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Unknown
I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'
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Steward Alsop
A dying man needs to dye, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless to resist.
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Henry Kissinger
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
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Learned Hand
The hand that rules the press, the radio, the screen and the far-spread magazine, rules the country.
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Jawaharlal Nehru
The only alternative to coexistence is codestruction.
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Jean Paul Richter
A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
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