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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Proverbs and Quotations - 129
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
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Saadi
Roam abroad in the world, and take thy fill of its enjoyments before the day shall come when thou must quit it for good.
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Theodore Roosevelt
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
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quoted by Freud in "Jokes and Their Relation To The Unconscience?"
Experience consists of experiencing that which one does not wish to experience
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John A. Appleman
I have heard it said that the first ingredient of success - the earliest spark in the dreaming youth - is this dream a great dream.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
You must pay for conformity. All goes well as long as you run with conformists. But you, who are honest men in other particulars, know that there is alive somewhere a man whose honesty reaches to this point also, that he shall not kneel to false gods, and, on the day when you meet him, you sink into the class of counterfeits.
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Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays (1950), "Outline of Intellectual Rubbish"
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.
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Henry Louis Mencken
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.
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Samuel Johnson
Language is only the instrument of science, and words are but the signs of ideas.
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Zelda Fitzgerald
She was conscious that the things she did were the things she had always wanted to do.
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Og Mandino
Do all things with love.
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John Peel
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
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