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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 39
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Author Unknown
The more you talk to yourself, the more apt you are to lie.
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Osama Bin Laden, BBC
Your security does not lie in the hands of Kerry, Bush or al-Qaeda. Your security is in your own hands.
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Vince Lombardi
A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.
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Charles A. Stoddard
When we can say no not only to things that are wrong and sinful, but also to things pleasant, profitable, and good which would hinder and clog our grand duties and our chief work, we shall understand more fully what life is worth, and how to make the most of it.
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George Santayana
America is a young country with an old mentality.
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John Lennon
Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
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Samuel Butler
To live is like love, all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
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George W. Bush
If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy. That will not happen on my watch.
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David Hume
Custom is the great guide of human life.
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Charles L. Allen
Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it.
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William Shakespeare
How use doth breed a habit in a man.
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Charles Caleb Colton
To know a man, observe how he wins his object, rather than how he loses it; for when we fail our pride supports us; when we succeed, it betrays us.
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