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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Things People Say - 163
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
The next thing to saying a good thing yourself, is to quote one.
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Hellen Keller
To be blind is bad, but worse is to have eyes and not see.
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George Bernard Shaw
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
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Josh Billings
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail then you can let go when you want to.
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Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please
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Anna Freud
I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.
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Hermann Hesse
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
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Albert Einstein
The Lord God is subtle, but malicious He is not.
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Wendell Johnson
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
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Cato the Elder
Grasp the subject, the words will follow.
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Barry Goldwater
I wouldn't trust Nixon from here to that phone.
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Unknown
I always knew i would look back on my tears and laugh but i never tought i would look back on the laughter and cry
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