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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Proverbs and Quotations - 122
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Plato
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
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Sir Thomas More
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
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Dorothy Parker
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.
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Diogenes the Cynic, from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers
When asked what was the proper time for supper If you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can.
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Mortimer Adler
Friendship is a very taxing and arduous form of leisure activity.
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Laurence J. Peter
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
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Sir John Gielgud
Being another character is more interesting than being yourself.
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I Ching
The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements.
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Hermann Hesse
The best weapons against the infamies of life are courage, wilfulness and patience. Courage strenthens, wilfulness is fun and patience provides tranquility.
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Robert Brault
Count no day lost in which you waited your turn, took only your share and sought advantage over no one.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you had to list the different types of haircuts in order of how warm they kept the head, you'd probably put the flat-top down near the bottom. But you know, I bet it's surprisingly warm.
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Robert Hutchins
...The task is overwhelming, and the chance is slight. We must take the chance or die.
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