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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Things People Say - 20
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Augustus Hare
Half the failures of this world arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping.
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Aesop
A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.
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Archilocus
The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.
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Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton
The strong and virtuous admit no destiny.
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Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Virginia Woolf
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
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Philip Guedalla
History repeats itself historians repeat each other.
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Ingrid Bergman
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
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Max Eastman
Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
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Josh Billings
The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.
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Mao Zedong
Communism is not love. Communism is a hammer which we use to crush the enemy.
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Rush (the band), "Freewill"
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
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