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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Things People Say - 53
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Hermann Hesse
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
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Hume
What a peculiar privilege has this little agitation of the brain which we call 'thought'.
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Arthur Chapman
Who to himself is law, no law doth need.
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Stephen Covey
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.
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Bette Midler
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?
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George Washington Allston
The only competition worthy of a wise man is with himself.
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Bertrand Russell, Mysticism and Logic (1917) ch. 4
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.
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Oscar Wilde
I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
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Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Henry Kissinger
The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.
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Christine Lavin
There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts.
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Miguel Gervantes
Take care, your worship, those things over there are not giants but windmills.
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