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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Things People Say - 141
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Fran Lebowitz
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Sir William Draper
Presumption means nothing more than as stated by Lord Mansfield, the weighing of probabilities, and deciding, by the powers of common sense, on which side the truth is.
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
People with integrity do what they say they are going to do. Others have excuses.
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Mohammad
A man's true wealth is the good he does in the world.
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Albert Einstein
It is not the fruits of scientific research that elevate man and enrich his nature. but the urge to understand, the intellectual work, creative or receptive.
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Harriet Du Autermont
No vision and you perish No Ideal, and you're lost Your heart must ever cherish Some faith at any cost. Some hope, some dream to cling to, Some rainbow in the sky, Some melody to sing to, Some service that is high.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
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George Dennison Prentice
Some people seem as if they can never have been children, and others seem as if they could never be anything else.
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Robert Frost
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.
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Earnst Angst
Ask not for whom the bell tolls You might get an answer you don't especially like.
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William Rotsler
You cannot hold back a good laugh any more than you can the tide. Both are forces of nature.
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Chinese Proverb
A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
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