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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Proverbs and Quotations - 108
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John Updike, Problems and Other Stories
America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.
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Buddha
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.
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Oscar Levant
I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
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Vinet
Imitation causes us to leave natural ways to enter into artificial ones; it therefore makes slaves.
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William Shakespeare
Some men never seem to grow old. Always active in thought, always ready to adopt new ideas, they are never chargeable with foggyism. Satisfied, yet ever dissatisfied, settled, yet ever unsettled, they always enjoy the best of what is, are the first to find the best of what will be.
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Lawrence Peter Berra
You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.
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William Shakespeare
To business that we love, we rise betime and go to't with delight.
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Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
At my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed. It is not likely that I should now see or hear anything to change them.
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger
The people and circumstances around me do not MAKE me what I am, they REVEAL who I am.
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May Sarton
We are able to laugh when we achieve detachment, if only for a moment.
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Napoleon
Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.
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David Schwartz
Do what you fear and fear disappears.
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