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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 89
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Oscar Wilde
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
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Martha Beck
Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want.
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Lord Thomas Dewar
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
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Seneca
To see a man fearless in dangers. untainted with lusts, happy in adversity, composed in a tumult, and laughing at all those things which are generally either coveted or feared, all men must acknowledge that this can be from nothing else but a beam of divinity that influences a mortal body.
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Author Unknown
Imagination was given man to compensate for what he is not, and a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
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Alfred North Whitehead
We cannot think first and act afterward. From the moment of birth we are immersed in action, and can only fitfully guide it by taking thought.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Spiritual force is stronger than material force thoughts rule the world.
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Bill Watterson, cartoonist, "Calvin and Hobbes"
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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William Shakespeare
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Laurie got offended that I used the word 'puke.' But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
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Anne Frank
Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.
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Lucretius, De Rerum Natura
Such evil deeds could religion prompt.
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